The only possible person for this job is Ghostwriter

But he's busy solving crimes. 

If there are any writers out there who think coming up with vague unconnected thoughts is the hardest part of a book ( or painting? or collage? shoebox diorama? ), this job is for you! 

This guy clearly missed a crucial first step, advertising in the local paper for help writing craigslist ads. I would say no since he would pay you in "publishing profits" or something else fake like equity, but you'll probably also get free pot.

Looking For Down To Business Writing Partner/Ghost Writer

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Date: 2010-06-30, 2:06PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-dk87t-1819247432@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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I am looking for someone that would be able to take my thoughts and ideas and be able to create a masterpiece.
This is a paid gig and will be discussed upon meeting and agreed on with the writing style and ability.
Summarizing this gig is meeting with me once to twice a week. As the job moves along more of the meetings will be able to take place over the phone and through e-mail. I need someone that has a strong creative ability, be able to see my vision, and be able to work abstractly.

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: TBA

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How can you want to be something you already are?

As an overachiever who recently spent $125,000 getting my JD, I can't wait to do legal work for $10/hr. Or I could stock shelves at Target.

WANNABE LAWYER (Norristown)

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Date: 2010-06-29, 8:37PM EDT
Reply to: Norristownrentals@hotmail.com ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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Are you seeking part time employment in the legal field? We are a very legally active Real Estate Management Company, established in 1976, with an office on Swede Street (Lawyers row) Norristown, 3 ½ blocks from the Montgomery County Court house.
Do you enjoy challenges; have the skill, confidence and desire to compete and win? Are you good at legal research & brief writing? Do you seek experience in different areas of the law? Do you want to participate in the varied requirements that comprise a working business from accounts payable to taxes? Are you a soccer mom/lawyer; new or unemployed member of the PA bar that needs the mental stimulus and fast pace that the legal world offers? Because of the country’s economic downswing, have you been denied the opportunity to practice the trade that you are still paying off loans for? Are you ready to hit the ground running?
Here is an opportunity to hone your skills and work with experienced supervision.
We offer flexible hours ,Monday-Friday:8AM-6PM, We seek a self motivated, honest, over achieving, organized individuals to work a minimum 20 hrs per week,eager to learn and be paid for it, as meager as it is, performing the following jobs:
1. Investigating, writing and filing legal documents for state & federal court.
2. Appearing in local, state & federal court for legal argument
3. Filing Landlord/Tenant complaints, and collecting the judgments.
4. Executing on judgments obtained over the last 30 years.
Some of the areas of work are as follows:
1. Landlord /Tenant
2. Contract litigation
3. Bankruptcy & tax law; state & federal
4. Municipal law
5. Civil rights claims
6. In-rem real estate claims
7. Building codes
8. Legal malpractice
9. Bond litigation
10. Collections
11. Workers comp
Being Spanish Bi-lingual is a plus, but not required.
You must be pet friendly. We have a very large, but friendly, white male Samoyed dog and a black Scottish Fold cat that have free run of the office. We believe in balancing the pressures of work with the soothing physiological benefits of pets..
Work starts immediately.
If you want a response to your e-mail, please send a resume listing education, residence, contact number, and confirm that you are presently an active member of the PA bar, in good standing.

• Location: Norristown
• Compensation: $10 per hour plus % of collections.
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

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Budior is code word for alleyway

This is perfectly accurate. You will be shot in the budior (not to be mistaken with sexy boudoir). The photos are for a cat and mouse game they are going to play with the police. You have to be fit because the last few were too easy

MODEL WANTED FOR BUDIOR SHOOT (Philadelphia)

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Date: 2010-06-29, 12:33PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-pzzmj-1817233828@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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I am working with a fabulous London photographer in starting a new division of my company offering intimate budior photography to women all over the tri state area. These photos will be used for promotional purposes only. There will be NO NUDITY but you will be in lingerie so being fit is important. We are an all female crew for hair, makeup, and photography. We have a very small budget to pay a model $50 to $75 for the shoot and you will receive 2 retouched photos for your portfolio. This could lead to more paid work so we are really looking for the new face of our company
Please provide the following information for consideration
Age:
Height:
Bra size
Underwear Size
Shoe size
Two recent photos a head shot & full body shot 

I don't want my car anymore, how can I accomplish that?

People who work in car dealerships often don't have access to cars. Makes perfect sense. 

TEACH ME MANUAL TRANS (BENSALEM)

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Date: 2010-06-29, 4:02PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-yyuzn-1817677185@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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I need to learnt to drive a stick shift.I work ina car dealership and have the general idea down.I can drive around a parken lot but recently going out for a job driving a tow truck and I need to get it done perfectly.I would have to use your car. Name your reasonable price.maybe price an hour...contact me via email. cruz1208@aol.com

• Location: BENSALEM
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: x/hr

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Those pervy Japanese guys sure are getting sneaky.

Where's the school girl only requirement?

Participate in a Body Odor Study (University City)

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Date: 2010-06-25, 5:12PM EDT
Reply to: see below

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We are looking for healthy adults between the ages of 45 and 55 or between the ages of 75 and 95, to participate in an odor research study.

This study would involve sleeping at home for 5 consecutive nights while wearing a body odor collection t-shirt. You will need to follow certain rules including hygiene requirements and diet restrictions, but nothing uncomfortable and nothing that would require you to be "stinky" or not wear deodorant during the daytime.

Maximum compensation is $50.

If you are interested in participating or would like more information please email odorstudy@gmail.com or call 267-519-4693.

oopsortunity! ubcome! (.com)

This would certainly be an excellcent oops-ortunity. I just hope my parents don't find my profile for Tatiana Titties on ubcome. I wonder what they do with the umbrella.

oopsortunity to collaborate at ubcome.com (USA and world)

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Date: 2010-06-28, 7:45PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-kfwve-1816233300@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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Ground floor collaborative opportunity for aware writers, artist, videographers, webmaster, photographers, musicians, designers... ubcome is an umbrella for a collaboration of website and businesses that want to be part of a supportive, cross promoting group.
ubcome is spread very thin and is looking for people to take charge and/or contribute.
Take a look and if you see a way you want to be a part of this, please continue this discussion with me.
. See http://ubcome.com/ubmediaWelcome.html#
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I am a serious ACOTRS

You know what's recession proof? Pimping. What a great idea for aspiring models.

CALLING ALL ACOTRS AND MODELS LOOKING TO CREATE ADDITIONAL INCOME (NYC)

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Date: 2010-06-29, 10:46AM EDT

Reply to: gigs-yp8yq-1817008713@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

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This economic climate has not been the best for us, I know. I am starting a business and looking for a team of four people who would also like to generate additional passive income for themselves. Requirements include: enthusiasm, ability to think OUTSIDE the box, energy, a positive, NO-FEAR attitude, and knowing four other people who are similar, and would also like to make extra money. Sounds simple, right? Please respond only if you are serious about making this work for you. Email me why you think you would be a good fit and your number, if you are interested, and I will share my plan/more information about this gig with you over the phone. You can do this job part time, working around castings and jobs. This is a serious ad.



****SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY. THANKS.

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I can solve all your problems for $20

1. No matter where you go, the Colombian drug lords will find you. Try negotiating.
2. Your girlfriend is right and you do call your mom too often. Try setting time aside for a date once a week.

Those are the only possible problems. This reminds me of the Daria episode

Need a problem solver (life)

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Date: 2010-06-29, 12:27AM EDT
Reply to: gigs-bccfm-1816608902@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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Hello,
I need someone with a sharp and creative mind to come up with solutions or ways to get me out of two predicaments in my life coming up.
Thank You

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I hope I am sciable enough

It's going to be amazing. Like the Hangover, but without attractive or funny people. I can't wait to get my reality show deal on VH1. It will be called "the night we got drunk and made a porno"

4th of July Documentation (Avalon New Jersey)

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Date: 2010-06-28, 11:06PM EDT
Reply to: mailto:job-nufec-1816526007@craigslist.org?subject=4th of July Documentation (Avalon New Jersey)&body=http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/tfr/1816526007.html ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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My friends and I are looking for a reality-show-type weekend at the shore. There are ten males in the house, all of whom are good friends, and frequently forget their own cameras due to the fact that there are no girlfriends in sight. We are all young professionals who love to enjoy our time off in the summer. We are looking for careful documentation of our party weekend, complete with beach, bbq, game and bar time. If you have your own equipment, and experience with filming and editing, please contact me. Pay is negotiable, and we are willing to house you, free of charge, for the weekend. This will include food and drinks (alcoholic or otherwise). We ask that you be sciable, with a sense of humor. And, of course, that you be 21 or over, as we will be requesting that you accompany us to various "adult beverage" establishments.

We are simply looking for a fun, hilarious, and memorable weekend. While there are hundreds of other people in Avalon participating in the same activities as us, we have concluded that not many people have their weekend on film, and that alone, will set us apart in some small way. Please contact Fran at 215-370-0747 and reply to this advertisment with your resume. Clearly, time is of the essence, and while we are looking for the right person, we need to set something up as soon as possible. We are open to any creative ideas that you may have! Thank you!


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There were no prizes awarded at all for unexplained reasons

I am seriously hoping this is a secret test to be on a remake of Wild and Crazy Kids.

WILD N’ CRAZY CAN’T BE LAZY

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Date: 2010-06-29, 10:59AM EDT
Reply to: job-gnpsg-1817034380@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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Earn up to $20/hr to start, NO sales, NO commissions!!!
Travel, dress sharp, have fun, make $$. Must work professionally
with the opposite sex! 10 positions available immediately!!!
Our management is hiring for all positions on
THURSDAY JULY 1ST & FRIDAY JULY 2ND
CALL TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY AND THURSDAY
TO book and interview!!!!!

Call (267) 248-9123

Due to high call volume, if no answer, please
LEAVE MESSAGE, and we will return your call ASAP!
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I hope the paperclip castle I built counts as menial task experience

As a talented web designer, I know what I'd really like to do is pay your utility bills, clean your office and schedule dates.

secretary/personal assistant (philadelphia)

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Date: 2010-06-24, 11:50AM EDT
Reply to: job-5ajfx-1808485098@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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I need someone who knows how to use photoshop, word, excel, quickbooks, website design, creation and maintenance, restaurant pos system(aloha) back office. I need someone who is office organized and a self starter. I need someone who has a drivers license and likes to run errands and do menial tasks. I need someone who understands what it's like to deal with civil servants, the city, and the utility companies. I need someone who likes to keep things clean and tidy and who can complete any job or task I throw at them. I need someone smart and ambitious who wants to help me keep both of my business's running day to day. The hospitality business and property management business. I need someone to organize my files, leases and invoices. I need someone to handle my mail, phone calls, tenants, and social agenda. I need someone who will have reminders in their calander when i need to renew a license or send a birthday card. I need someone to be my right and left hand man or woman, cause the workload is piling up. send more than just a resume, tell me about yourself and if you meet all of these requirements, especially the computer skills and drivers license.



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From the law firm of Creepy & Perv, LLP

I've always wanted to be a professional stalker.

COURT RESEARCHER (Greater Philadelphia Region)

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Date: 2010-06-28, 12:40PM EDT
Reply to: job-sgbq2-1815319631@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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Unique full time position with an established firm. Salary plus commission, with an excellent benefits package (Health/Dental/401k/Paid Vacation). We are looking for a self-motivated individual with an excellent attention for detail. Daily travel throughout the greater Philadelphia region, company car provided, vehicle and travel expenses are paid for.

A legal background is not necessary, especially if you have proven yourself in another field, and we will fully train you. Bachelor’s Degree preferred but not required for the right candidate.

Please submit resumes via email c/o Keith Hunsaker at khunsaker@kempandassociates.com

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